It's official. Last month was the hottest July on record nationwide. It wasn't much better here in Chicago but at least we've recently gotten some rain and more moderate temperatures.
Of course the rain hasn't been enough to break the drought. And I'm still expecting those 90-degree days to return. After all, it is still August.
At this point, I could really use a good laugh.
I initially had trouble coming up with any garden-related jokes. I finally remembered these from when I was a kid:
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What runs but never tires? Water.
I recalled the last one when watering my garden one morning for what seems like the umpteenth time this summer. I also stumbled across a couple of new ones when doing some (ahem) research for this article.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global worming.
New gardeners learn by trowel and error.
What gets bigger the more you take away? A hole.
The only new one I've managed to come up with is at the top. All kidding aside, there must be some drought-related garden jokes out there. You know, gallows humor -- garden style.
So to help spark some gardening wit, I'm giving away a DeWit crown trowel and a dibbler. As you can see, the trowel looks a lot like a tulip. Both of these babies are top of the line and carry lifetime warranties. They should be great for planting bulbs this fall or at least dreaming about a new beginning next spring.
I'm also throwing in a copy of the Timber Press Pocket Guide to Bulbs by John Bryan.
You only need to comment below for a chance to win, but garden-related jokes, rhymes, riddles, etc. are appreciated. No dirty jokes, although jokes about dirt/soil are allowed.
The deadline is midnight August 19, 2012, with the winner chosen at random. One entry per person please. Employees of Chalet Nursery and their immediate families are not eligible to win. Void where prohibited by law.
I’d especially like someone to complete this joke: “Two slugs walk into a bar…..”
By Karen Geisler
Ha--you had me giggling out loud with those jokes, and salivating with the chocolate at the beginning. Good luck with the contest. :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, here goes another joke: Everyone has these on their face? Tulips
ReplyDeleteLOL,
Audrey L.
navymomjaz@aol.com
Hey, could be worse! In Oklahoma we're thrilled to have 90's, 'cuz we've had so many days over 100! Okay, here's my favorite: What is small, red, and whispers? A hoarse radish. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteI think, therefore I Yam.
ReplyDelete(I think this comes from Scott Adams.)
Nice job Karen here gos's.
ReplyDeleteThe philosopher who said that work well done never needs doing over
never weeded a garden.
Sheila
Oh I am bad at jokes but I love these and a dry sense of humor.
ReplyDeletehere is a bad gardening joke.......
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of socks do gardeners wear?
Garden hose
Sleepyheadedmom at gmail dot com
Whether the weather be cold
ReplyDeleteOr whether the weather be hot
Whatever the weather
We'll weather the weather
Whether we like it or not!
Eileen and Lynne
Karen, I laughed at the opening photo and I am now racking my brains to complete:
ReplyDeleteTwo slugs walk into a bar. One slug says to the other slug, "You call this a bar? I call this a beer trap."
Bah-dum-dum.
These are great! Keep 'em coming!!!!
ReplyDeleteThere once was a vain slug named Doug
ReplyDeleteWho feared that his mug was a pug
So he went for a beer
At a bar that was near
And drowned his sorrows with a glug
Two slugs walk into a bar and chew each other out! Great funnies Karen.
ReplyDeleteI have Chocolate Chip Ajuga and mine doesn't make chocolate like yours
Eileen
It's a very special variety ;) I'm putting it next to Heuchera 'Caramel' in hopes I get a candy bar plant.
DeleteEileen -- You are the winner as determined by random.org! The tools and books will be headed your way shortly.
Delete